*sigh* today has been a good day, but I feel like reflecting on some of the things I do miss about having a boyfriend/being in a relationship…
Let’s be honest here… One major thing is sex. The physical part as well as the intimacy part.. More than a year of just me, doesn’t always cut it… True enough, I do know myself well, what I like, what feels good, so there’s that… But I miss the interaction. How my heart races, the excitement and adrenaline coursing through my veins. Being seduced. Being touched in an intimate way. Being kissed. Having someone else make me melt and fall apart in the most delicious way… And making someone else feel that way as well. Feeling powerful as they melt at my touch, knowing they are enjoying what I do to them… And then falling sleep next to the person you care so much about…
I also miss the companionship. Having someone to do things with. A movie partner, a date buddy, or just someone to text. I don’t really have any close friends. If I want to do something, most of the time it’s by myself… It sucks sometimes. I hate feeling lonely… Who doesn’t? I do like some time to myself, but I feel alone 24/7. I don’t have anyone to do things with. I don’t have anyone to open up to, or who gets me, who understands what I’m feeling and going through… I guess that’s partly why I chose to start blogging. To get it all out. To see if anyone out there cares what I think and have to say.
Having someone compliment me. If I look cute, someone to boost my ego a bit. Compliments from my sisters or coworkers just isn’t the same… Someone to dress up for, for a date or whatever. Or dress up for in a sexy way. I miss feeling sexy and having someone to comment on it, notice it, appreciate it. Be excited by it.
I guess I just miss the overall fact of having someone to share my time, love and life with. Someone to open up to. To connect with on intellectual, physical, and spiritual levels.
There are positives and negatives about being single. I don’t mind it most if the time. I like most aspects (see my blog “the positives of being single”). But there are some sucky parts. Things you have to wait for until you find someone new… Guess I just have to brush it off for now and know that the right guy is out there, and I’ll get to know these things again one day… And boy will I be ready! I’ll appreciate them so much more because I’ll know what it feels like to be without them.