Wouldn’t Change a Thing

Although the last year and a half has been a definite struggle personally, I really wouldn’t change a thing… Starting with realizing I wasn’t happy in my relationship with J, to realizing I still had strong feelings for my other ex K, to the actual breakup drama with J, having to move back in with my dad, dealing with my regrets with K, finding out about J having a baby.… It’s really been a struggle, emotionally, mentally, physically, but I have grown and changed in sooooo many ways that wouldn’t have been possible if I never went through these things…

God never gives us more than we can handle. And the tough things we sometimes go through help shape us into better human beings. We learn through experiencing. We learn from our mistakes, and [hopefully] change them the next time around. Sorry for being so cliche.. 😛 But I really do, deeply feel that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Maybe not right away, but in the long run…

I still have my struggles… Some days are tough, but I wouldn’t change it… Looking back to a year ago, I have become a very different woman. In a good way! I know what I want. I know my own worth. I’ve realized I literally can not settle in a relationship anymore. That quickly became apparent on the few dates I’ve been on with guys since becoming single… I’m working towards finding a full time career, getting out of waitressing, and buying my own house (hopefully next year!)… I am making things happen for myself.

Funny how something so small, like putting together a bookshelf all by myself, can make you feel so good about yourself. Small thing to make you feel empowered, but there ya go! I guess it’s just the boost I needed to get out of my little funk I’ve been in… Don’t get me wrong, I definitely don’t have all the answers yet, but I’m trying. I’m doing things to try and move myself forward in my life, even if parts of my heart are still stuck in the past…


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