Dreams of someone I’ve never met

Last night was the 2nd or 3rd dream I’ve had about Liz, the girlfriend of my ex K whom I still have feelings for. Funny how the subconscious can make up a personality for someone you’ve never met… I guess it kind of does make sense that my unconscious mind would make her someone unlikable to me. I hate that she is the one making him happy… And I dislike her purely for the fact that she is his girlfriend, even though I’ve never met her…

The first dream, I think I mentioned it in a previous post, I actually woke up from feeling myself slap her across the face… I was shocked at how I acted do violently in my dream.. I’ve never been in a fight or physically hurt someone, but in my dream I did… She was sneering at me, taunting me.. Saying K never loved me, and would never even consider going back to me… And I remember just throwing my whole body into slapping her again and again, yelling at her to shut up, that she didn’t know a single thing about what we had, until I woke up….

I think she’s also been in a few dreams I’ve had about K but as a passive person in the background…

Last night I had another dream where she was front and center.. I didn’t even remember the dream until a few hours after waking up… But somehow me and her were having a conversation… Or maybe I overheard her talking to someone else… But she was saying how K and her had been fighting and how she didn’t like somethings about him, how they have broken up and gotten back together a few times. ((I do know for a fact that they did break up for a month or so back in September of 2012, when I first had my feelings for him resurface and when I was about to get out of my unhappy relationship with J… I’m not sure they have any other times though.)) I don’t remember what, but I know she was complaining about something… And I told Liz that she didn’t belong with him then. I’m pretty sure I was yelling at her. Saying she shouldn’t be with him then, if they were unhappy. She didn’t deserve him.. She didn’t appreciate how lucky she was to have him, and I loved him no matter what. That I was the one who should be with him then, if she wasn’t sure… I don’t remember anything else…

I guess my mind just wants to think that she isn’t a nice person, or that they might be unhappy because then maybe that means I could eventually get my second shot with K… I have no way of knowing anything about their relationship… I’m not even sure, if he was single again, that he would want to try again or that if things would even work out.. I’m not sure if too much time has passed.. Maybe time has separated us too much. Maybe we are too different of people now…

I don’t feel like i’ll ever get my answers. Somedays I feel better about him, like I might be able to let go and move on, and other days I don’t. I still feel a hole inside me. I still feel sad and regretful…

The pain doesn’t go away, we just learn how to deal with it.

~Aly.

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5 thoughts on “Dreams of someone I’ve never met

  1. So true, I’ve had similar issues with dreams like that and I also know that for dreams to happen in that way it must be on your mind a lot!, it’s hard especially when you seek and would like answers, I am in the same boat with Scarlett, do you think the answers you seek will give you closure or make you worse?

    You seem in the same boat as me and I guess all we can do is wait and see what life throws at us,

    I saw Scarlett’s parents for the first time in god knows how long since we split and I couldn’t cope I had a full panic attack and walked straight by them I think they may have seen me! God knows what I’d have done if it was her!

    Anyways great post and stay strong, you have a great heart and it shines through on your posts

    G.S 🌹🌹

    • I feel that knowing the answers is the only way I can move on.. The few times I have gotten to text K, I got such mixed signals.. The way he would keep the conversation moving forward even when I was trying to end it, made me feel like he wanted to keep talking to me. In the 2 conversations I’ve had with him, I have said everything to him about how I am feeling, why I left him before, how much I regret it and wish I could fix it.. I’ve literally said everything but that I still love him, although I hinted at it… And he complimented me, bordering on flirtation.. In the 2nd conversation, he asked how I was doing, and genuinely seemed to care and understand my pain… He had 3 1/2 years to move in from me… But I didn’t get any answers as to how he still feels about me.. He said he wishes things could have been different but that he is happy right now with his girlfriend, Liz… Even just that makes me feel like there could be a maybe…

      More than anything, I feel like knowing can only help me. If he still feels anything for me, that will give me the strength to hold on, however long it takes. And if not, then I have my answers. No more wondering “what if”. I think it’s the only thing that can make me truly let go, because i will know for sure there can never be anything again…

      I often feel like I can relate to your posts so much!

      I always think about how I would feel or act if I ran into K… Or found out that he and Liz were engaged or having a baby or something… I don’t think I could handle it…

      Thank you so much for your kind words and comments..

      Aly. ❤

      • I think that would be the best thing for you, you deserve closure or to be given the answer you deserve and or wish to seek, it’s very bizarre that he gives you mixed signals in this way …. It seems to me that if he’s doing that he obviously cares or loves but to a degree you hope I’m not sure ( only because I don’t see the texts etc),

        In fairness you’ve done all you can with what you’ve said to him apart from literally demanding an answer, have you done this? Or are you scared to?

        Did he explain how he wished they were? He obviously must have hoped and wanted it to work for him to say that,

        You do need an answer and I hope you get the answer you wish for!!! You’re a lovely lady and deserve to be happy,

        Thank you so much :), I’m glad that you feel you can relate to them and I hope they help in some ways and also I’m only a comment away if you ever need me

        Just be prepared for that day if it had happened…I try to tell myself and sometimes look to see if she’s around (in hopes to see her face) and my heart just races… I get nervous and scared so I too know how it feels the thought of those situations,

        You’re most welcome and you must get an answer! Then choose what’s right for you afterwards!

        G.S ❤️🌹😊 x

      • Our last conversation was in December, and at that time I was too afraid to ask him directly… I wasn’t prepared to hear that it was over forever.. Now, I think I am a little more prepared for that being the case..

        I’ve just tried so hard to be respectful of his relationship. I don’t want to cross any lines or push him to the point of having him tell me to leave him alone or something. I understand that he is in a relationship, and I want him to be happy, so I don’t message him.

        The two times I did text him were exceptions.. December was his birthday. The time before that was in February last year and it was an accidental drunk text. I think I am ready to hear any answer, but I don’t want to cross any lines by randomly texting him without a good reason… :/

        I have the text conversations still… I could always post them for you to see.. Maybe having outside opinions will help..

      • I see…., well it’s better that you are ready for any answer which will help you, I understand that and I think you have and are respectful of the relationship and again that’s understood also, surely he wouldn’t say that to you though.

        The fact that he replied for his birthday is a decent sign (I’ve done that and had no reply) and randomly texting wouldn’t go down well, you’d have to try and build a relevant convo up!

        By all means send then if you like 😊 I will try and help best I can and see what I think at least!

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