Loneliness and loss

Just barely 2 months have passed and my family is preparing for another loss… In may it was my grandpa, and now all the sudden it’s my grandma…

She’s always had health issues and alcoholism, but just all of a sudden, after my grandpa passed, she is shutting down….. I just left the hospital… It’s hard seeing them so withered….

Not to mention the fact that I hate hospitals… They give me major anxiety… Basically I feel like its PTSD from when I had cancer (leukemia) as a child… But that’s another blog!

It’s hard grieving and accepting that I am going to lose another family member so soon… I’m not ready! I’m not recovered from my grandpa yet, and now we are facing this again…. And it’s hard not having anyone in my life to turn to, to comfort me, to hold me…

There is just something about loss that is really bringing out the loneliness in me… I know how hard it is on everyone in my family, but at least they have their partners to comfort them and be there for them during all this… Except me… Losing another family member is making me feel even more alone… Like our circle is getting even smaller, more space and less people around… Does that make any sense??

I feel alone…. I hate it.. I’m not ready to deal with this, go through this again….. And again I have to do it by myself……..

Ill update again soon…

Until next time
Xoxo Aly

3 thoughts on “Loneliness and loss

    • thank you very much… my grandmother did pass the day after I wrote this blog.. I’ve just been taking some time to let it sink in.. love and hugs are much appreciated!

      xoxo aly.

      • You’re welcome and I’m so sorry to hear about that :(, take as much time you need and I’m sending you lots of love and hugs, if you ever need me to talk about anything I’m always here for you

        G.S xox

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