Guilty as charged.. I do tend to over analyze, David being no exception. I’m trying to keep it in check, just taking things day by day. I’m trying to hold myself back from thinking things like how we already hooked up or if he could be ‘the one’… I know it’s way too soon to even go there.. So I’m trying to hold back and not have an expectations just yet. Don’t want to get ahead of myself! But I do really think I like this guy.. We obviously still need to get to know one another a lot more, but he’s got Potential with a capital P!
He really is such a sweetie.. He texts me throughout the day just to tell me he is thinking about me, and calls me things like ‘ hi lovely’/ ‘beautiful’/ ‘gorgeous’. It’s such a drastic change from being alone and single for 21 months… And to be honest, I’m kind of freaking out. I feel myself building up some walls, not a lot but still some. Maybe a better term is holding myself back… Maybe because I’m worried I might like him too much too soon, or because I’m over thinking the fact that we already hooked up, and maybe even because I’m still thinking about K a little in the back of my mind..
We are seeing each other tomorrow, going to the river to hang out. I’m kind of nervous.. I’m sure the opportunity to go back to his house will be there. And the opportunity to hook up again… I don’t know what I will choose to do.. I’m not opposed to it. I just guess I’m feeling guilty that it’s still so soon… Maybe I’ll just go off of how the river date goes- how much we talk and get to know one another better… As long as we are getting to know each other on other levels, not just physically, I don’t think there is a problem, right?
And then there’s K. As things progress with David, I can’t help but think “what would I do if K suddenly became single right now?” I doubt it would happen, but me being such an over thinker, I can’t help but think of all the possible things that could happen with getting into a relationship soon. Am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I healed enough? Am I over K enough? or the hurts from J? If it came down to it, would I choose K or David?? I think I know my answer, at least to that one, and it surprises me… I feel like I would keep pursuing David.. But then again, if K poured his heart out to me and said he wanted to give us another chance, what i’ve been wanting for 2 years now, I just don’t know… But regardless, all these questions keep popping up in my head and making me more nervous!
How do you make yourself not over think things!?
I’m sure you guys will be hearing from me about how everything goes tomorrow..