Closed Off

Part of me wonders, as I venture into this new “relationship” with David, if I am too closed off to have a successful relationship right now. Like I’m so used to being alone (as much as I may complain about it sometimes) for the last year and 9 months that I’ve grown used to being completely independent and shut off from any form of open communication and intimacy. I feel like I’ve just grown used to being this way.. And I don’t know how to change it.

I’m used to just doing me. Doing what I want, whenever I want. I’ve grown kind of distant because i haven’t had anyone around to be close to, and I’m struggling in the transition… I think maybe part of me is scared to really open up. It’s still new to me. I am having to get used to being comfortable and open with another person again. And I don’t want to get hurt, or get too invested too soon if it ends up not working out. Standoffish comes to mind, at least where my emotions are concerned… Physically I feel very relaxed and comfortable around him.. I just have this wall up around my heart, disconnecting my emotions from it all..

David has been really sick, so i haven’t seen him for the last week and a half. Which is kind of hard when it’s so new and we are still in the beginning stages of a “relationship.” Hopefully I will get to see him within the next couple days though..

But something I kind of noticed the last couple times we hung out is that we aren’t opening up and getting to know each other. I think I’m just out of practice. How do you do it without feeling like an interrogator?! I just feel like I’m so stiff.. What’s your favorite color? What kind of music do you like? What’s your favorite book? ect. I want to get to know this guy but I just feel awkward trying to ask questions!

Does anyone have any advice to help me??

xoxo Aly.

8 thoughts on “Closed Off

  1. Is he still talking to you even though he’s sick? Don’t take what I say the wrong way but if he’s in hospital having surgery there shouldn’t be an excuse not to get to know you better. He should be talking to you now! Or the other way around, you should keep making conversation. Never feel awkward to ask anything, you need to start being confident and open-minded and he will (hopefully) open up to you. X

    • We have been texting a little each day.. I work mornings and he works nights so that’s been a little complicated.. But we at least have a little conversation every day.. Like how was your day? How was work? Can’t wait until I can see you next.. And surprisingly he is very active in checking in with me.. He is usually the one to say I miss you or I’m thinking about you first..

      Hopefully once we see each other again it’ll get easier and the conversation will flow more easily.. Maybe it’s just the lack of face to face contact that has me feeling awkward…

      Thanks so much!!

  2. I believe there’s only one solution: honesty. When you guys go out a little more, let him know about the difficulty you’re facing. You don’t have to go into details, just let him know that you don’t wanna get hurt. Chances are that he might be feeling the same and it would be a relief for both of you to let it out. Good luck.

    • I completely agree.. We have very similar personalities so I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s feeling similarly.. Maybe it’s just the fact that I haven’t seen him face to face that’s making me feel awkward.. Hopefully that will begin to change once he is better and we get to hang out more.. Hopefully the conversation will start to open up, and I can fill him in on how I’m feeling and that it takes me a while to open up to people..

      Thank you so much! I appreciate your advice!

      • Yes, believe me, distance makes everything harder. You may text or talk on phone but when you meet face to face it’s a different world. Things will get better, I promise.
        Anytime xx

      • Very true.. He’s been sick and I haven’t seen him in the last 9 days or so, and we’ve only known each other less than a month.. I’ll be sure to blog again soon, once we see each other again, so i’ll let you know how it goes! 🙂

      • Oh that’s a short time to decide anything and from yourn words I can tell he’s a nice guy. I wish you the best of luck. I’ll be reading 😉

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