New Pastimes

So… I’ve started drawing out ideas for my book.. Gathering names and character profiles, and I’ve even started writing a few small scenes.. Even if nothing ever comes from this, I’m enjoying the distraction that it’s giving me.. I can lose myself in this. And I’m content to let myself do so…

I realized I really hate dating. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.. Sure, I may get a free drink or meal out of it, but I just hate the whole business.. Getting to know someone new, opening up, investing time… And then it all ends out to be for nothing, then on to the next, rewind and repeat. I hate feeling like I’m being fake or being reserved because I’m trying to impress and get to know some new guy and I don’t want to scare him off too soon. And then if I completely be myself, all sarcastic and sometimes pessimistic and whatnot, I feel like it’s not attractive to a new guy to see, so maybe he’ll lose interest. So then I’m back to not showing who I am 100% and it’s exhausting!!! Thinking about what is ok to do or say, and “oh darn! I should not have said that- I sounded like a bitch there for a second.. I hope he didn’t notice!”

Ugh. I’ve seen Mat 3 times within the last week. He is nice… But I don’t know if I feel anything. I haven’t had an urge to kiss him.. We did hold hands last night for a few minutes, but I felt like it was awkward and forced.. He seemed natural with it- he was running his thumb across my fingers gently…

I just don’t know.. I wish dating wasn’t so complicated.

Anyway. I’m glad I am starting this book project.. We’ll see what comes of it…

Xoxo Aly

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One thought on “New Pastimes

  1. I think it’s a fantastic idea! Which will help you especially forgive and let go of things or certainly be able to replay it in your mind and for it not to hurt, I’m very lucky and thankful that I write songs because its helped me, I wrote a song for Scarlett a proposal song and its done really well on YouTube but I’m always writing all my heartache and my heartbreak stuff and even going into detail about situations and stuff that happened on both parts. I hope that like your novel will it’ll help someone in their journey, we’ve all been there I also hate dating too and I hate all that you mentioned about it, but you’re trying and if things aren’t seeming to make sense just follow your gut instinct and just trust that you know best 🙂 everything happens for a reason dearest aly!

    Go for it!!!!!

    GS xox

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